Chill!!! Everyone makes mistake

Today I woke up late. And it caused me a trouble. Because this morning is my morning shift. I should have woken up at 6 and gone for work at 7. But instead I woke up at 7:15. It's not on my own, but my superior came to my place to wake me up. How embarrassing!

And what worse, it's not happened just once, but several days. Including today, as I'm in Bali I have woken up late for 3 days. I think In the past I relied to much to my mom to wake me up. That's why when I'm far away from her, nothing I can do about it. It's ashamed, again. It means I really need to work on my sleep and wake up routine.

Another thing I wanted to talk is about my guilt. When someone makes a mistake, it's normal for them to feel guilty, right? When they don't, it shows a lack of responsibility. As for me, I always bring it too much. I'm dwelling on it. As thinking I'm useless due to that mistake.

I tried to dig deep on me to find a reason. I think it's because the way my parents have grown me up and also my environment when I was toddler. I don't want to blame all to my parents. They did a great job. However, I still remember when I was a child my mom was always so much overexpecting of me. She didn't say it in person, but I've gotten a feeling of she wanted me to be perfect. Got a good score, be a good boy.

Well that sounds like all good. Indeed, it's good. However, I felt like, there's no room for me to make any mistake. Whenever I got a bad score, when mom would push me to work harder. The same case when I did something bad, my mom would complained a lot.

I felt like my inner child has brought it to this day. Growing up, whenever I made a mistake, I took it to my heart. Blame me, dwelling on myself. On one side, it's good so I could learn from it. But on the other side, it has decreased my confidence.

I think, balance is key here!