Self-help has ruined my life

Over the years I've been writing about this, but keep ended in the same cycle. I gave up self-help - it came back - and gave up again.

I starting to question it: why? Why on earth I always come back to this place after I announce to give up on it?

I don't have all the answers, but one thing for sure, it's our desires. We as human have desire for something. One person craving for money or financial success, another one is for popularity. Whether you like it or not, we own this on us. And it's a good thing. At some level untill it's not.

For me personally, I gave up on desire for being success about a year ago. The reason is simple, when I saw where was I standing (back then and now), it seemed so hard to gain a huge success like financial freedom. At this level I have a family, and other responsibilities on my own. The most important thing is I could feed my own belly as well as my family for at least a year from now. That's my financial target, so far. I don't aim for the sky, but something grounded.

So, what is it your desire, then?

It's a shame to say it here, but I always wanted to be a popular and cool guy. I don't know why the reason behind this. Maybe it's because I was a nerd back then in school. I couldn't get any cute schooler girl. That's might be one of the reasons.

Untill now, the books of being rich and wealthy wasn't sold me well. However, the books with title like 'Alpha Male' or 'Sigma Male' or 'Be the Leader that Women Want to Follow' have always caught my attention and my money on.

I think I need to fill this emptiness before I could actually give up on all those self-help trash.