Why am I hurt?

A minutes ago, I went to my workplace dress up with a shirt and short pants. I didn't intend to work, just took attendance. Then, my coworker commented, "Are you gonna work, dress up like that?"

I just smiled, then she added, "Are you working as parking attendant?"

She laughed. She meant it to be a joke, but I don't know why, my ego is hurt.

Recently, I just learned (re-learn actually) about stoicism and dichotomy of control. The theory is cool. You need to divide what are in your control and what are not. Simple. In practice, not that simple.

I believe, before we jump to self improvement things, we need to seek for self awareness first. You can't put everything into the same container. Because everyone is different, and that's why we need to adjust the self improvement things with ourselves, not the other way.

And for so long, I've been trying to put this stoicism theory into practice, but never really stuck. I think it's not because the theory didn't work well or completely garbage. It's simply because I haven't finished with myself yet. I haven't done my "self awareness" homework.

So, to answer that one million question, why am I hurt?

A lot of things could be the answers. Starting from how my environment grew me up when I was toddler untill the newest one, how my current ex always commented my look when we met. And then, how to be okay with all of these? I don't know, I'm not psychologist.

However, I consulted a psychologist a year agoabout similar topic. And she said, "It's normal to feel that way. You can't completely stop it, it's human nature. But self-compassion and positive affirmations could help to reduce it."

Means try to be kinder to yourself and don't beat yourself too hard!